The End Cont. 2

Still working on a lot to add in here... many thousands of words Soon updates added every day
I Need to eat food now

Just recently, as I so desperately want to put a close to this chapter, I came across the final pieces of the puzzle. Dr Justin Sledge, of Esoterica, had a few interesting uploads here towards the end of August. The first was on the story of the historical Jesus. One of the details new for me was that there was a widely circulating theory that Jesus was actually son of a Roman soldier named Pantera. This I found intriguing, because at the place I worked where DopenessOnDeck47 was born, there was a tremendous amount of the band Pantera which was played - especially after we closed. The band was a favorite of one of my co-workers(besides Tool), who then showed our boss, who then became obsessed. I found metal a bit off-putting at first, it was so aggressive, I thought these guys had emotional issues. Through time, I grew to enjoy and play the genre a lot, especially in moments of nostalgia reflecting back to the good ol' days. Things were simpler then, we were working a real life version of the Krusty Krab, what we joked about constantly. Sure, maybe I was molested by a man with down syndrome every day for a summer(Bobby Lee, me too), Spongebob, but honestly, and I'm not even kidding, that was the first person to ever make me feel like maybe I was handsome. I was Zac Efron(he would call me this or cupcake). He was Vanessa Hudgens. Together we made High School Musical. Have you seen the movie Dreamcatcher? There's a down syndrome individual, Duddits, who gifts the 4 main characters psychic abilities in their childhood after they protect him from bullies. Later an alien invasion begins to go down, and these 4, who reunite yearly for a hunting trip, are forced to use their powers to help save the world. 2 of them get killed, 1 of them gets possessed by "Mr. Gray," head honcho parasite, and the lone survivor, Henry, he realizes their only hope is the source of their power: Duddits. Walking, perhaps, sprinting to the ends of the Earth, Henry finds him, frail and dying from leukemia. In a desperate race against time, their psychic powers, which has left them linked, led the two to a final confrontation. Mr Gray, still possessing one of the 4 friends, is about to infect the worlds water supply... what would ensure the invasions success...
that is
before Duddits arrives(calling him Mr. Gay)...

It is here that Duddits reveals his true nature. He isn't just a man with a disability; he seems to be an alien as-well, an equal counterforce to Mr. Gray himself, having been housed in a human form the entire time. To the outside world he was just a man with down syndrome... but in reality, Duddits existed as some sort of messianic extraterrestrial being, just waiting for the time when he would be called to action. He is the ultimate "dreamcatcher," and in a final, self-sacrificial act, the two alien forces annihilate each other, saving the world. Some theorize that this Mr. Gray character may have performed this planetary takeover in the past, and Duddits, a survivor from another planet, anticipated the next move, avenging their bretheren by preventing it from happening again.

I did an extensive amount of DMT (over 100-150+ blastoffs), heroic mushroom ventures, and very high LSD doses around this time, meditating for hours on end, and reading copious spiritual books. Work was where I would integrate my experiences, and peculiarly, I began to develop a sense that my co-worker with down syndrome was enlightened. Forget about Buddha, Jesus, Shiva, Mohammed, or whoever/whatever else spiritual seekers of the past may have studied to find answers. Higher powers have sent me to Zachary. I did an entire ounce of penis envy mushrooms to myself throughout the summer of 2019, right before I found my way to this job. I viewed him with the same seriousness as any enlightened being, and even though he was constantly trying to sneak a hand on my rear end, it seemed that I was quite literally developing psychic gifts as I continued to learn from him. One such lesson I will share; if someone you are washing dishes with purposely drops utensils in a position which requires you to bend over to grasp, you must reverse into the location backwardly, and bend at the knees, or make them retrieve it themselves. We unfortunately couldn't make our way to a monastery, but this was something better. The perceived forces of intelligence I would tap into on psychedelics from time to time seemed to really like this arrangement, wanting me to soak up every ounce of wisdom from him that I could as I went further and further. Committed to doing DMT enough times until I had mastered it, figuring out all the traps the mind would fall into, how to dive deeper and deeper, I was eventually able to briefly glance at what I came down to saying "that was God." Well, I couldn't really say anything for a long time, jaw was wide open, it was so ineffable that you can't begin to formulate words, sorta just balling up on the floor. All of sudden, once hitting the center of the universe, boom, COVID 19 pandemic. Global virus outbreak. Did I go through some sort of wormhole? Zach gone. Guru gone. More wisdom came from my apprenticeship than I had ever developed studying any book, it was an energetic attunement to the master which took place on a daily basis, a way of life, of being. In just the last year, I learned about Merkavah Hekhalot mysticism, which was very eye opening. Centuries before the rise of the Kabbala, there were shaman-like rabbi mystics that made terrifying and epic descents into what is described as "divine palaces." These were not the single spontaneous visions, but the rabbis are described as going through a sequence of palaces, gates, and thresholds as they grew in their mastery. Each step has requirements (purity, secret words/names, special sigils, knowledge) and a different set of angelic guardians or tests to get past. Everything about it screamed to me that these guys were doing DMT too, the writings themselves almost sound like trip reports. The goal was to touch the innermost palace, the throne of God. Here one would be surrounded by angels and gaze upon the most high, being transformed someway, sometimes even being transformed into a sort of angel themselves. The book of Enoch, what is seeing a resurgence in its popularity today, is a text which demonstrates this sort of early mysticism - Enoch turning into Metatron at the end. The third book of Enoch is quite literally called Sefer Hekhalot, meaning the "Book of Palaces." Ancient alien theorists relate this story to UFO's, as it sounds like Enoch is being abducted by aliens and shown advanced technology or whatnot, taken on an adventurous tour of reality, but at the same time, for people that ingest Dimethyltryptamine, what is often reported is some sort sort of encounter with a perceived extraterrestrial intelligence. This early form of mysticism was learned a religion: you needed teachers, and a small practice-community. The writings may preserve instructions, but the living transmission — teacher to student — is what originally carried the skill to survive the ascent. And when the word survive is used, that is in its most literal sense; in some cases, rabbis are quite literally reported to be killed by the mistakes they make during these engagements. The angels guarding these secrets are fierce. There is a famous story about this, held as the most important text in relation to the Merkavah mysticism, about the four that enter into the Pardes, or garden. Only one emerges intact..... the others..... they all face different tragedies. There happens to be another example of Merkavic meanderings made messy mentioned in the Talmud, a story I was just recently introduced to in another one of the newest Esoterica uploads, which was just 11(4+7) days after the historical Jesus one which began this ramble...

In this tale from the Jerusalem version of the Talmud, Hagigah 2:1, we are given a story from Rebbi Ḥiyya, quoting Rebbi Joḥanan, who recounts that Rebbi Judah ha-Nasi once had a disciple(who had a cousin, which knew a guy, whom had a friend, with an Uncle) that ran into some issues. To quote the situation directly from Hagigah 2:1.6, "Rebbi had a competent student who explained one Chapter in the Work of the Chariot to which Rebbi did not concur; he was stricken with scabies." What's happening here is that, this competent student(talmid hagun), meaning they have 'seen and served', expounded on the teachings of the Merkavah in a way that disagreed with his teacher. He had seen, what Dr. Sledge interprets as 'seeing' the customs of the rabbinic culture at hand, and served, under a rabbi, a master, whom they apprenticed under, absorbing this observed wisdom from, and learning how to handle things without going off the rails. Dr. Sledge doesn't think it makes sense to interpret 'seeing' from the perspective of direct visionary experience, where you personally beheld or glimpsed the mysteries, because how would one 'serve' the Merkavah as-well? It doesn't make sense. From my perspective, I could 'see' the 'seeing' as a form of witnessing the Merkavah mysteries, and then the 'serving' aspect as one 'serving,' yes their community and under a guru, but also, that experience they had - by integrating it and embodying the wisdom which came from it. From there you would be a competent student, meaning, you had direct experience with the Merkavah, you saw, and then integrated it. However, what am I doing here? In a beautifully ironic manner, I may be demonstrating the same sort of dynamics seen in the story we are analyzing.

This student gave his exegesis, a critical explanation or interpretation of a text, in a manner that disagreed with his teacher. What happens next was that he was struck with "sh'khein." We don't necessarily know exactly what this word means, in the text it is translated as leprosy, or scabies - but it's essentially referring to some sort of skin condition/disease.

This is not the tsara'ath (צָרַעַת) leprosy found in the Hebrew Bible, a somewhat supernatural disease which is a little bit more tricky, requiring certain priestly rituals to cleanse. A more accurate interpretation would lean us towards boils, cysts, ulcers, or some kind of outbreak. I had just added some remarks about my extensive skin outbreak recently..... wait a second... First we had the historical Jesus video which was talking about how he really was a sort of apocalyptic rabbi who thought the world was going to end, and then, just 7 days later, I awoke to find a further discussion on the topic sitting at....

and well, perhaps we should mention the Aleister Crowley 666 upload that came in on the same day...

YouTube is interesting. If your video is above the .50 second mark, your upload will appear in thumbnails rounded up a second. Once you click in, it will round back down. This video gives you the appearance 24:24 via thumbnail, but once you enter the green labyrinth, it sits at 24:23...
What's interesting, is that this video had already been uploaded on AtunSheiFilms YouTube channel nearly 2 years prior(the same length). Why did Dr. Sledge choose to upload this all of sudden? His fans were blissfully confused...

During the week proceeding this, I had found access to mushrooms again, relaying it to all the voices in my head, "what have we done to be blessed!?" Running into someone I knew after a yoga class, he was an established member of the Conscious Conversation's group, but a new member to the studio. The next day dude was planning on going for the 5g heroic dose, his highest amount yet, wife and kids being out of town and whatnot. He had a little bit to spare, and I found myself the next week with enough to follow in his footsteps, planning on embracing the heroic. The fact that this new Jesus insight from Esoterica was coming in at the time was quite intense. I was already a bit overwhelmed with things, this extra scholarly detail made my own personal situation feel a little bit more real, it felt like time to go back into the Pandoras box which began this whole mess. The day I was set to acquire this medicinal material, was when I saw that 7,778 on the TV, I knew it was time... it also aligned with this old favorite of mine from TGWOG.

I'm not sure I even saw the Aleister Crowley upload until the next day, when I was planning on entering the mushroom clinic. Time to step into character. It's been a while now, hasn't it. Working up the courage to take it, wandering into the kitchen, I found the coffee maker in the kitchen, which sits 1hr 3min ahead, at 4:44PM. Where's the bag? Munched em down, 5 grams of Enigma, making weird faces as they descended the hatch. I sat there and meditated while waiting for things to kick into gear. Eventually I felt a bit of a buzz and went outside, entering the garden, I looked up into the sky, and there was a giant cross. Pulling out my phone to take a picture, the time read 4:32PM.

After this I had to go inside and sit down for a little bit, I knew things were about to get crazy. The night proceeded to completely whoop my ass, but this start put me into a really embracing headspace. It felt like there was a holy seal which had me protected throughout the occasion. My greatest difficulty, and I'm sorry if we are going into too much detail here, ladies, please just go ahead and skip the rest of this section, was peeing. The body load was so intense, that I couldn't get myself to pee, sitting there for 20+ minutes just trying to get a stream going. The pressure began to build up more and more as the mushrooms came on harder and harder, everything just began to amplify. Now my body is beginning to panic, fear is setting in, adrenaline is probably releasing, and I'm still unable to find success in the simple necessity of fluid release. I eventually have to hop into the shower, going from hot water, to cold, back to hot, then to cold, this a few times... Finally, once we hit a sweet spot, I had to stand in absolute stillness, grabbing onto a single moment with everything I had - we got a little bit out. Maybe 10 seconds or so. There was still at-least another minute worth in the tank, but the building pressure of imminent implosion has been relieved, at-least a little bit. I proceeded to spend the next half hour trying to get the rest out, standing in the grass trying to ground myself. That didn't really work, we were fighting to find a sliver of internal peace where my nervous system would just let me urinate. Please.

For a little while there, I start flying into a pretty crazy headspace. It felt like my body was shutting down or something, and this thought entered my head that the person who supplied me this fungi was secretly not a fun guy at all. He poisoned me. Perhaps a plant from a secret society, maybe the CIA, an agent of the shadow government, he befriended me knowing that I would be a fool and take the bait. This whole operation was being shut down. I was pacing in circles within the living room, and then looked out the window, like a madman, and the second I did, noticed a fairly nice car on the other side of the street, looks electric, and then, they immediately zoomed off. It seemed reactionary. Were they in there monitoring me or something, fleeing upon an exposure to my awareness? What if they had, in that car, been using some sort of secret sonic, or ultrasonic weapons, trying to catastrophize my trip and torture me? Was I under an electromagnetic energy attack like the people in Havana? I grabbed a pillow and headed for the toilet, belching, and feeling nauseous. I wasn't going to let them take me down. Boxing my uvula with index and middle finger, I couldn't get myself to throw up. Fuck. We're going to have to overcome this with our mind. God won't let me die. We're going to transform this poison inside of me with love, each molecule will be mentally alchemized. This was the ultimate test. They knew that if I was really the messiah, if they poisoned me, I wouldn't die... I would make it out the other side. This is how it had to be. The final trial. Through pure willpower, mankind evolves right here, this very moment, as I resist a tragic early death and perform the impossible. I should have known some sort of Judas thing was going to occur. It's like in Dune when the kid is pushed to the edge by the witch lady, but comes out the other side all magical. Waltzing through the house all dramatically, like I was in the trenches of a WW1 skirmish or something, my dog and I make direct eye contact for a moment. She stares at me all seriously, meeting me where I'm at, looking kinda concerned, and then breaks into a smile. Ahh, okay, please reel me back in Olive. The power a dog has to recenter you.... my little spirit guide. She ran up and began to lick my face, telling me to settle down, it's all good. Alright... we're probably not dying, but wait a second. Wasn't the world was supposed to end here or something? damnit... forgot about that... We ARE dying.... and I'm the reason why... :( . I looked outside again and there were a bunch of people in my neighbors front yard across the street. Still in this wound up paranoid state, for a moment, I thought that they had found my website, and were all banded together mad at me for doing the first 18 keys of the Enochian working. I was about to yell at them that I haven't even scryed the fricken aethyrs yet, before they bust in here thinking I was out here boiling potions and opening a portal to the underworld in the basement... "They don't even want the smoke" I said pacing around the kitchen prepping myself for battle, but then I felt like, if I prayed hard enough, God could maybe save us from any incoming conflict through inspiring compassion inside of them, perhaps a little bit of sympathy for the devil. LEGIONS OF ANGELS PROTECT ME. Maybe they would back off and leave me alone while I'm in this vulnerable shroom state, can't they see? I've already had to overcome a poisonous betrayal, as-well as an onslaught of personally directed radio-frequency energy attacks tonight. Gee willikers, it's endless... Oh no.... I'm starting to have to pee... not this again.... And so the chaos continued throughout the night. I'm glad that I was alone. At one point, in the backyard, potentially in only underwear, at-least shirtless, I made terrifying eye contact with one of the neighbors across the way through a slight visible opening between the houses. I'm fighting for my life here ma'am, please, I don't need your judgmental eyes right now, could you kindly go on about your day. I then proceeded to find a private area to lay down in the grass. I closed my eyes and it was nothing but red, swirling spirals of red. For a moment there.... I just let go and gave myself unto the red light. Barely holding on, I opened my eyes and looked up, there was a hawk right above me, just gliding in circles, an unusual place of town for this sort of bird. I was really struggling at this point, and the smoothness of this aerial creatures dynamic cylindrical motion began to soothe me. "Christ is with me right now" I kept saying to myself as an affirmation, remembering the giant cross that sat in this same airspace earlier. Finally a bit of peace began to seep in. Next thing you know there's a crow cawing. I get up, and make my way towards the house, and on the roof of the neighbor right next to us, sat one of those little black creatures making a ruckus. I went inside and put on a video to try and soothe myself, searching "Spinning Merkaba," which I put onto the TV.

The pulsing lights left and right were something I followed with my eyes to slowly begin to settle inside. Then I focused on the Merkaba and began to take deep breaths. It feels like my consciousness is stepping up into higher dimensional levels, and each breath in which I am overcoming the resistance which I am faced with, is a powerful form of release. There is a point where the spinning of this 3d animation is so fast that I see nothing but a solid blue Star of David. I then went back outside again and sat on the ground. A bunch of crows began to fly overhead, first 1, then another two, and then perhaps another 5-6 or so. It was magical. I want to walk my dog, but I also remember that weird car that was just out front. What if there was someone out there just waiting to try and do something weird to me while I'm in this state, perhaps provoking me so that I would have a reaction, creating an opportunity for them to then detain and bring me to some sort of hospital where they can take away my sanity for good by tranquilizing me into a zombie state. That's absolutely insane. I have to stop reading things online from these people who think they're targeted individuals, no matter how entertaining it may be, oh my goodness.... If I'm being surveilled right now, they can look at this.... (moons laptop camera).

I watch the Truman show at the end of the night, something I remember taking 7 grams and watching by myself maybe 5 years ago or so.... and now that I think about it, I remember seeing this in my English Class at the Community College in 2017 when I was first experimenting with DMT... I have a specific memory of it playing and myself being able to see the colors of the projector in a really strange way.... Anyway... wow, I had completely forgotten about this love interest of Truman's, Sylvia. I used to have the biggest crush on her... wait a second... she's the....the.... Scarlet woman...

Learning about Gnosticism changed the way that this film digested with me. Wow... it's almost like Truman is Sophia who is stuck in the world of the Archon's...

Then I cried :`(
Just a little bit
A few tears
Happy ones

Three days later there was a new upload from the Professor.
It opened with a quote from the bible, Deutoronomy 4:32

Did Zach hold my hand, and grab my ass, as I unknowingly, through following my own inner divine madness, made my way to the throne of god? Was he my Rabbi? After he left, I felt legitimate grief and a bit lost. Revelation without guidance is lethal, especially if we consider that revelation, even with the highest level of guidance, is STILL lethal. You can “see” and even “serve”(sandwiches), but if you go rogue, your body itself becomes marked as a sign of divine disapproval. Here is a song I made during that time specifically trying to recreate the DMT experience in audio form, and the title "There's not much time left," seems to be quite eerie now looking back. I think I was onto something with the Pepsi shoes in the breakroom though.

Obviously there's a lot to unpack here, and maybe once I get ahold of a therapist we can get into the details of all that a little later, but for now, perhaps, maybe I should relay the fact we have discovered the middle name of my old boss, Mr. Krabs, a hilariously cheap and money obsessed immigrant from the Philippines... "Julius." Squidward was a decade plus recovered meth addict, grumpy sometimes because his pleasure chemicals had really been pushed to the limits in the past, but honestly, was perhaps one of the most genius humans I have ever met. He really made me want to have grandchildren, the amount of love he had for his girls. This individual was named Leo, and a Youtuber I consumed a lot during this time was Leo Gura from Actualized.Org - another fairly intelligent person. Watching his videos, I would have one Leo telling me that I am God and infinity, and then going to work, I would have another Leo telling me that I was a slow pathetic dishwasher, and that I was not going to bring the food out to that cute girl over there because he had dibs. Now in comparison to him, that was true, but in my defense, the mans dish washing skills were steroided from years of practice under the assistance of Gods most powerful amphetamines, it was like Arnold Schwarzenegger flexing on a newbie at Golds. And no, I will watch that food carefully and snag it with swiftness before you can get your grimy little hands on it, you perverted little gobli- ... damnit! How ... did he have a secret sandwich cooking? That could have been my wife... He strikes again...

Leo Gura inspired me to do a bunch of psychedelics, because from his perspective, that was the only way to truly acquire profound spiritual knowledge, by directly experiencing God yourself - super-charging your understanding. You didn't have to meditate for years in a cave, but you needed to get your hands on, and smoke a little 5 MeO DMT. Say less my friend, we live in an age where, even though I can't purchase a beer, I can send internet coins to a man in Peru who just freshly milked the worlds most powerful hallucinogenic substance out of the back of a toad. Merkavah mysticism was something that was basically saying the same thing during its day. You didn't have to wait for some profound vision, for God to come to you as some passive recipient of theophany - you can go and see God yourself. You can make the journey, you can take the tests and descend down into the palaces firsthand, creating the theophany experience. Sure, you may have to fight through angels that want to kill you, its incredibly dangerous and risky, you may go completely insane, but hey, if you've got a little drive in ya, its possible. That's how my whole DMT phase felt. To quote Dr. Sledge directly, because he can be quite hilarious, "All of Israelite literature at some level is God revealing Gods self to the Israelites. The Merkhava literature says, Hold my beer. We're going IN. We're descending ourselves. We're going to GO to God."

Through time I discovered that my old co-worker Leo was actually a very deeply wise sage. He is the one that, to this day, has given me the single greatest advice that I've ever received, the most important lesson that I believe one could be given. No, I'm not talking about the time he showed us how to use the kitchen stove to light crack off of a piece of tin-foil, like the little sample he found out back one day(we were in a beautiful location). I'm talking about the most profound teaching I have ever received, the most mind boggling statement that has ever entered my brain. At first I thought it was simply a joke about the frivolity of drug usage, but overtime, it threw me into a bit of an ontological crisis.... "You can't get higher than Jesus!"

Here is the main insight. We'll skip straight to the root of things. The heart of the matter. I'm not going to sit here and act like I can relay this to you any better than the man himself. From Dr. Justin Sledge's upload, "How Ancient Apocalyptic Jewish Ascent Esotericism Laid the Foundations of Christianity," from Apr 28, 2023, I quote directly, from 46:25 - 47:23 ...... (my magnum opus moment)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC6xCyFJ1Ro

"Thus,
if all this holds,
even a bit,
we must come to a truly startling conclusion.
A form of ancient Jewish Ascent mysticism
was responsible for Paul's mission to the Gentiles
and underwrote the earliest elements of Christian
Theology,
Christology,
and Soteriology,
his theory of Salvation.
If true,
I think it is,
this should represent a tectonic shift
in our understanding of early Christianity,
including a real profound rethinking
of the relationship between Paul and Jesus
but it was the Merkavah Mystic Paul
that took the life and teachings
of an executed apocalyptic preacher
even the concept of the Messiah itself
and radically transform them
into a true world religion,
eventually."

Patrick, you know who you are, the one who holds the drum of mayonnaise(yes it is an instrument), you (in the morning on the way to manage a fully staffed seafood kitchen) Xanax chomping, Perc popping, falling asleep in a parking lot while eating an entire box of ice cream sandwiches which melted in your lap (devastating work pants) as you woke up in your car 5 minutes before a shift across the city the next day, or at 4am in the drive-thru at Arby's(temporary 24/7 operations I believe) with no recollection of how you got there (or what you just ordered) while all the workers are in the window staring at you concerned before you come to and intrinsically dart away, FAT, PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE!!! If it's the fourth of July, 7-4, and you're inspiring me to salute the customers after giving them their food, I'm doing it with valor. I will never forget the day you came in with the injury. Your finger. It was almost gone. The 'using a chainsaw in your backyard while on cocaine' incident. Weekend landscaping. Wooooooooo. Or the day you came in with a new favorite tattoo, the one of Miss Piggy. You bestowed vision of this piece of artwork to others along with the auditory vocalization of the phrase which went across the illustration #hoggin (in reference to the self binding gravel, of course). I don't know if I agree with you that the Earth is flat, but the Michelle Obama being a man thing, I don't know, there's that situation with the Frenchman going on now...

remarking on his first Kratom experience, "its like a shitty ass perc"

Zach was the biggest Disney fan, and so whenever getting fried, I would often try and at least stay in attunement with the master by watching one of those movies at the end. Some of the best lessons in those, and while you're all sensitive, it kinda reminds of you of the themes of childhood. I remember one time doing a bunch of acid, 4 tabs I believe, and watching Toy Story 4, all of a sudden it was so clear.... forkie, that was your spirit animal...

You really scared us when getting covid and your lung collapsed. My step-dad had just gotten out of the hospital after an entire month of being in there, and then, you son of a bitch... you go in for a similar length of time. Had me out here crazy, even going so far as to try and enlist the blessings of the Hoff Twins...

From Dec 2021

Oh yeah ...

In regards to Pantera, the specific album "Cowboys from Hell" was my favorite, what was played on CD. Shane is the name of a classic western movie about a cowboy, and with the Aleister Crowley thing, well, perhaps I have quite literally come from hell. Learning this Pantera fact about the Jesus story, I was inspired to go back and listen. What do you know, my favorite song from the album...

Looking back, the song is eerily in alignment with the Kabbalistic creation story of the Shevirat haKelim, or the "Shattering of the Vessels." This divine cosmic event, where the vessels containing God's light were overwhelmed and broke, is what gave birth to the Qlippoth itself.

Verse 1
It's storming broken glass
Corpses left in piles
Ungracious bludgeonment
That breaks the earth for miles
Nothing can stop it
The day has come
From below
It's catastrophic

Pre-Chorus
Freezing
There's no healing
Families are dying

Chorus
This world is shattered...
All shattered

As-well, a song that I had never heard from them before popped up in my recommended suggestions. The snake imagery is what drew me in to click it...

Beyond the sound of banging drumsticks and gregarious guitar riffs, however, the bottom line is, the historical Jesus was a man who began to preach because he believed that the end of the world was imminent. Phewww, alright, so maybe we've been onto something here all along. As-well, details about the historical Jesus's connection with Pantera... weird.... not to mention the notable experience at Panera(the Bread)... and the dual messiah John the Baptist thing brought up a lot of memories of my gardening pal, which inspired Dear John,. Interestingly, the Tao Te Ching, something the two of us went quite deep into, not only through discussion, but through integrating the philosophy into our every work day, has a translation done by Aleister Crowley. The "Tao Teh King." He reinterpreted the text entirely through the lens of his own philosophy, Thelema, equating the ineffable Tao with the individual's True Will. Aleister got into the Taoist philosophy after he traveled by foot and sailed via horseback across the southern Chinese province of Yunnan from 1905–1906. This occurred right after his transmission of the Book of the Law in Cairo during 1904, as-well as his Kanchenjunga expedition in 1905. To cover this just briefly, Aleister was being an asshole to some of the climbers and porters (carriers of supplies), and they wanted to turn back. Crowley advised against this descent to a lower camp at night, but they decided to go anyway. Four people were swallowed up and killed by an avalanche. Hearing the cries below, his fellow climber rushed down to help the situation at hand. Crowley on the other hand, stayed in his tent. "A mountain 'accident' of this sort is one of the things for which I have no sympathy whatever" is the infamous line Aleister wrote in his Confessions regarding the situation. Accounts from the survivors, particularly Dr. Jules Jacot-Guillarmod, paint a chilling picture. The morning after the avalanche, Crowley descended from his high camp. He reportedly walked right past the distraught and grieving survivors without saying a single word to them. He briefly surveyed the scene of the accident, and then, with no offer of aid or consolation, packed his things, took the remainder of the expedition's money, and left. This money was a pooled resource, likely from numerous people to cover shared expenses, and as the expedition leader, Aleister Crowley was entrusted to manage it on behalf of the entire team.

I will open this section with a quote from 2 Chainz, his poetically creative and rhythmic verse found etched into the popular hit musical song by renowned artist Kanye West, 'Mercy'

"Okay, now catch up to my campaign
Coupe the color of mayonnaise
I'm drunk and high at the same time
Drinkin' champagne on the airplane (Tell 'em)
Spit rounds like a gun range (Baow)
Beat it up like Rampage
Hundred bands, cut your girl
Now your girl need a Band-Aid (Damn)"

Quinton Randi Jackson, or more popularly known by his ring name, Rampage Jackson, is a former mixed martial artist, actor, kickboxer, and professional wrestler. He is 47 years old, born June 20, 1978. Coming out of Memphis Tennessee, he faced a difficult childhood, finding violence at a young age in many street fights. Rampage's father was addicted to drugs and left when he was only 10 years old, an absence which lead him to sell drugs himself. He started wrestling at 17 while in high school, going on to place 5th in State his senior year. Quinton then went on to begin an amateur wrestling career at a community college in Susanville California, but was expelled proceeding a physical altercation with a teammate(off the mat). After this occurred, he discovered MMA and began training in Las Vegas. His first officially recorded professional fight was on November 13, 1999 - a unanimous victory secured in his hometown. From that first win in Memphis, he went on to participate in smaller scale fights, amassing an impressive 10-1 record. Quickly he found way to the legendary rings of Japan's Pride FC, and it was there that Jackson became an international icon, a terrifying force known for his signature bone-rattling powerbombs. His path eventually led him to the sport's biggest stage, the UFC, where he secured the Light Heavyweight title after knocking out Chuck Liddell at UFC 71. At the time, the UFC and Pride FC were the two biggest and most prestigious MMA organizations in the world, but they operated separately. Each had its own set of champions. In 2007, the company that owned the UFC bought Pride FC, and to determine who the single, undisputed champion of the division was, they pitted their two champions against each other. Just 105 days after winning his initial title, Rampage went the full 25-minute distance in a grueling war with Pride champion Dan Henderson, winning by unanimous decision, cementing his status as the undisputed best 205-pound fighter on the planet.

His reign as the undisputed king was intense, but brief, ending in a razor-close decision loss to Forrest Griffin - a bout that would become 2008's Fight of the Year. Despite no longer holding the belt, Jackson's star power only grew. He crossed over into Hollywood, participating in a few projects, eventually landing the iconic role of B.A. Baracus in the blockbuster film The A-Team, and later starred alongside Bruce Willis as a ruthless gang leader in the action-thriller Fire with Fire. Rampage became a mainstream personality as a coach on the popular reality show The Ultimate Fighter in 2010, building a heated rivalry with Rashad Evans, which culminated into one of the most anticipated grudge matches in UFC history. It was on this television series that his volatile personality was put on full display—famously smashing a door to pieces, a moment in which Dana White jokingly remarked, "You know what sucks about that? It shows everyone how cheap our f&@king doors are."

After years of further battles inside the cage, Jackson's fighting career began to wind down. Yes he found some roles in TV shows and movies as the years progressed, but it is only just recently that his larger-than-life persona found an unexpected second act. Rampage has recently exploded back into the public eye, trading the octagon for a digital arena. He has found success becoming a massively popular streamer, where the same unfiltered raw charisma that made him a UFC icon is now attracting a whole new generation of fans online. The resurgence of the "Rampage" name in the public consciousness, driven by his online streaming, set the backdrop for a drama that would prove to be as intense as any of his prize fights. This time, however, the focus wasn't on him, but the heir to his legacy - his son, Raja, a tough tussler carrying the DNA of a warrior. Following in his father's footsteps, Raja has been attempting to carve out his own path in combat sports. On August 23 2025, that path took a dark and violent turn, down elm street, where a shocking act of brutality would unfold making national headlines, all while being broadcast on a live stream for the world to see.

Things took place at a small independent wrestling event in Southern California, where Raja was in attendance as a special guest and streamer. This was not a competitive performance arena, being more so a WWE style show - with many young children in attendance. The situation ignited when a wrestler known as Stuart "Syko Stu" Smith, seemingly as part of a wrestling storyline, unexpectedly smashed a prop beer can over Raja's head backstage. Raja, who was not a "worker," and was not in on the stunt, became visibly enraged. Imagine some dude comes up with a bunch of cameras following him, you would perhaps think that something was being recorded, and it was time to put on a show. Stu seemed to be a bit out of it, perhaps even a little drunk, and once he realized the mistake, apologized to Raja multiple times. This helped settle things a liiiittle bit, Raja accepting the apology and claiming to understand, but he was still quite upset. The other wrestlers calm him down by promising the young man he will be able to get his revenge, that they could "seal" things up in the arena, giving Stu a deserved "receipt." Raja continues to wait in the crowd while livestreaming, and for over an hour, gets egged on my his chat into a state of fury. It is here you can hear him say things like
“This s— isn’t going to be scripted.”
“I’m gonna really have to show him that you can’t just hit a f--king can on my goddamn face.”
“I’m really going to hit him, I’m telling you. I’m dead serious, this is not going to be scripted, I’m telling you.”
“I know all wrestling is script, I’m telling you what I’m gonna do to the guy,”
"I am going to hit him as many times as I possibly can."

When his moment comes, Raja runs in and performs a powerful bodyslam, seemingly knocking Stu out cold. He then proceeded to not hold back, unleashing a fury of punches to the mans unconscious body, 22 to be exact.

In a video that was recorded directly after Raja had left the venue, he is seen in a blood stained white shirt, pacing around a parking lot.

“‘I’m tired of motherf–kers playing with me, bro,” he says.
“Think I’m always playing and s–t. Calling me b—h and s–t. No, no f–king b—h bro. At the end of the day, I’mma a stand up for my f–king self.”

The footage includes a phone call in which someone tells Raja that Stuart “Syko Stu” Smith “hadn’t woke up,” that he was flatlined. At this point, Raja starts to audibly breathe heavier, things actually beginning to set in, saying 'my bad,' and then shortly afterwards ends the call.

It should be noted that Raja had just recently had a concussion in training. This is actually one of the ways in which we can have our energy body opened up to these different 'entity' influences. Miscarriage for example, is another sort of time where these things can get in. Any sort of traumatic incident. Bad car accident. Etc.

There was speculation as to whether or not Psyko Stu would be pressing charges. People wanted to see justice, there was even a petition on Change.org started Aug. 26 calling for his arrest, which earned more than 5,000 signatures. He was finally taken in on a felony charge nearly a month later, on Thursday, Sept. 18, in Los Angeles. Shortly afterwards, he was released on a $50,000 bond.

Rampage was not proud of his sons behavior and condemned it. There are a few quotes where you can see him blaming Stu for initiating the whole thing, but, ultimately, Rampage places the blame on his kin.

“I think he should do a little jail time, do a little community service, and go to anger management class, get some therapy.”

Ra-ja
RAmpage JAckson

Wait a second... wasn't Raja a type of yoga?

In Sanskrit, the word "raja" (राजन्) means "king".
To quote from Vedanta.org,

"Raja yoga, is the royal path of meditation. As a king maintains control over his kingdom, so can we maintain control over our own “kingdom”—the vast territory of the mind. In raja yoga we use our mental powers to realize the Atman through the process of psychological control.

The basic premise of raja yoga is that our perception of the divine Self is obscured by the disturbances of the mind. If the mind can be made still and pure, the Self will automatically, instantaneously, shine forth."

The Haṭha Yoga Pradīpikā is a classic 15th-century Sanskrit text that serves as one of the original instruction manuals for Hatha yoga, written by the sage Svātmārāma. In trying to find a definition for Raja yoga, I discovered that this piece of literature had a pretty good one. If you search "Hatha Yoga Pradipika" on Google, the second result you will find is a 741 page pdf file, a thorough commentary on the text, as-well as a full translation, in English, by Swami Satyananda and Swami Muktibodhananda. Then, if you go to page 577, this is where the definition of Raja Yoga is discussed, quoting Chapter 4 verse 77 of the original medieval scripture...

Here's another bit of commentary I was able to find on it, from a 23 page document on thelemistas.org

https://test.thelemistas.org/PDF/HathaYogaPradipika.pdf

A little update on the Stu

The thing is... SykoStu is a veteran with PTSD. Wrestling was almost like his form of therapy. Really sad to see him face such a traumatic incident in a place that was probably healing for him.

47 weeks after his birthday, Charlie Kirk was assassinated.

It seems this College had a record.... aaaalmost 47,000 students, if we just round up a little, with 4,705 first timers...

Driving back from a wedding my brother was telling me about how Tupac has secret footage of him before the fame, in acting school, that he was secretly gay...

Then the next video that popped up in my recommended was this one from John St Julien Baba Wanyama

447.24 meters ... I'm going to have to try and recreate this and see if that sweet 447.23 works...

Wiki paste

"On July 24, 1847, upon first viewing the valley, Young stated: "This is the right place, drive on." Mahonri M. Young, a grandson of Brigham Young, sculpted the monument between 1939 and 1947 at Weir Farm in Connecticut.[2] Young was awarded $50,000 to build the monument in 1939, and he was aided by Spero Anargyros serving as the chief assistant.[3][4] It stands as a monument to the Mormon pioneers as well as the explorers and settlers of the American West. It was dedicated by George Albert Smith, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, on July 24, 1947, the hundredth anniversary of the pioneers entering the Salt Lake Valley"

Charles the Bold who died 1477

"The death of Charles the Bold in 1477 ended the Burgundian State, triggering a succession crisis that led to the Habsburgs inheriting the Netherlands and France annexing the Duchy of Burgundy. This event led to the War of the Burgundian Succession between the Habsburgs and France, increased French power, and sowed seeds for Low Country independence movements."

Charles's corpse found after the Battle of Nancy, Auguste Feyen-Perrin, 1865, Musée des Beaux-Arts, Nancy

Just shortly after my 4:32 experience, at the perfect view count...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvdz_mm5mEw

The year that Edward Kelley was born...

The film features the assassination of a man that is Secretary of Defense named "Charles Kirkland"
He was shot in the neck
The man that takes the hit, originally, is known as "Tyler the Executioner"
In reality, the death came from another source....
Features one of the Casino's which Trump owns, which was bailed out with the assistance of the Rothschild's years ago...

"Roll two ones on the dice, look like snake eyes
In too deep in the night with the bad vibes
Just logged in with the love, but I signed out
Pink diamonds in the sky when we ride out
One bright star in the sky like a lighthouse
Ten armed guards in the yard like the White House
Barbed wire around the fence and the dog's out
Raindrops, they drop down, on the lost crown"

Tyler Robinson was 22 years old. This is a significant number for the Masons. As-well, the fact that it took them '33 hours' to get ahold of him after the incident, peculiar.

Jeffrey Epstein 33,000 pages
Hillary Clinton 33,000 emails

It reminds me of this event which occurred last year. The house of a supposed 'Rothschild' burnt up in the Hollywood hills...

To quote the article from ABC 7...

https://abc7.com/post/mystery-identity-william-rothschild-died-hollywood-hills-house-fire/15624168/

I had the intuition to dig into this a little bit when it occurred. What I found was that, this fire occurred on the 332nd day of the year. If we take 365-332 we get 33 days that remained on the calendar for 2024. From the report on LA Times, it also said "with some returning a day later to extinguish a small section of the home that was still smoldering." So from the transition of the 332nd to the 333rd day of the year, with 33 days remaining, that is when this fire took place.

As-well.....

Now I am not trying to be insensitive to a grieving woman, but I must say, given these other connections, I thought that I would at-least mention the rings Erika wore at his celebration of life. She was seen with an "M" on her index finger, and a "G" on the middle. Grand-mason? Let's not start running with this, I'm not trying to create extra buzz where there may be done, these are the initials of the children which Charlie has left behind fatherless. Their Daughter is named Gigi, and the son, Mack.

The actual compass is not set to 47 degrees necessarily, you see it varying all over the place, this person is somewhat incorrect in putting that over this image, but, the compass does still represent the 47th Law of Euclid, as discussed in 47

Each side of the political spectrum perceives of themselves as the good guy, and the other guy as the bad. This is what opens up the psyche to the phenomenon of shadow projection, of scapegoating. I am excited to dive further into this mental phenomenon at some point here soon, this event demonstrated it perfectly. What you saw after Charlies death was a bit of sociopathic energy coming out of the left, which perceived that the death of Charlie, the right, was good, and was therefore cause for celebration. This is really quite off-putting, and exposed, at-least for myself, a deep confirmation about the sickness prevalent in the minds of people today - these righteous warriors for 'social justice.' To blissfully feed off the death of a man who shared a different political opinion than yourself is to be completely separated from your humanity. One of the reasons the world was so 'triggered' by this man was because of his conservative values. The left side of the spectrum, through recent years at-least, has seemed to promote a sort of liberated sexual agenda. From my perspective, much of this is actually entity related, and through the energy of lust, our powerful sacred sexual energetic fuel, necessary for the growth of the soul, is drained through hedonism. If I am speaking from the place of Crowley, I feel like there's some merit here. We're not talking about loving energy. Don't think that's what is usually going down with a stranger after 2AM off the spirits, ya know, the different one each weekend, but hey, I don't know, maybe there are people that can pull this off in a way that is very loving for them, but may look from the outside as lustful. Could this tantric sexual magic, however, be inferior to a more reserved approach? Maybe there are phases of development appropriate for ones growth, but it seems that eventually, a stabilization through a transmutation is the highest path, at-least according the many schools of thought that seem to come to this conclusion. There is talk about having to free yourself, but what is freedom if it leads you off a cliff? In one of these old Yoga books I have, they discuss how the auric bubble, so to speak, has little astral hooks that intertwine at the top. When somebody engages in intercourse this process untangles the participants astral cords, to put hypothetically, and then latches and ties together with the astral cords of their partner. In an ideal situation, both individuals would be 'popping the seal' so to speak for the first time with one another, and these hooks would have the greatest ability to merge with one another, creating a sort of shared nervous system. When that relationship does not end up continuing, these cords then have ties to one another that are still, in essence, attached. Through time this dissolves, but it doesn't solve the fact that there is nothing for these untangled hooks to attach to, and so, there is a period of destabilization. For someone to continuously engage in sexual activity, it's almost as though their astral hooks are getting fried, what we may see in scientific literature as issues with pair bonding. When someone like Charlie talks about marriage, and the problems with society, NOPE! Patriarchy. Ewww.. Racist and misogynistic bigot. Why is this guy popular, are we going back in time? What if.... marriage, having a family, trying to form something solid, all of these things... they're actually a form of spiritual technology? What if they were designed to protect one from the emotional emptiness of entity drainage? Why do fighters always hold back the waters before a fight? Situationships, a rotation... it's an unlimited feast for those little parasites out there... The right, in response, has slut shamed, getting quite immature and nasty, perceiving themselves as the good, and these women as evil Jezebel spirits, but really, we should all just come to an understanding. It's as though the forces of this world could have taken him out, the ones who's feathers he ruffled, even if things weren't pre-planned. To quote the Bhagavad Gita...

"The Blessed Lord said: It is lust only, Arjuna, which is born of contact with the material modes of passion and later transformed into wrath, and which is the all-devouring, sinful enemy of this world."

(these witches craaazzzyyyyyyy)

I'm not going to try and look for any more surrounding this other event which occurred on the same day, perhaps if I search long enough will enter bias, but maybe we're slightly tapping in to the fact there may be an underlying code of the world? This is barely sane to speak but something that popped up in my awareness, I might remove this.

Released in September of 2024, by November "El 47" became the most watched film in the Catalan language of the last 40 years in Spain. It is based on a true story, about a man, Manolo Vital, who hijacked a bus and drove it to the neighborhood where he lived, where there was no public transport. The city council at the time claimed that the streets of the neighborhood were too tight, and it was not possible for buses to get there, and so, to prove them wrong, Vital pulled a bit of a Robinhood move and hijacked route #47 to prove them wrong. It seems that the person whom this film is about, shares a last name with one of the the most well known Kabbalistic Rabbis of the past. The main student/disciple of perhaps the most famous Kabbalist of history, Isaac Luria, who died at 4/23 at age 77. We're speaking of Hayyim ben Joseph Vital, often called "Vital." The esoteric connections between Saturn and the Elohim, I have yet to find the space to fully divulge into, but it's coming soon. It turns out, as-well, that there is an entire film production company called "Saturn Films." I discovered this by googling "Saturn 477," and the first result to pop up on YouTube, was this video by someone, "DellFan Productions," whom makes videos that are compilations of the different logos companies have evolved through over time. The 477th video of this individual, just so happened to be of this Saturn film company. And you know who started this thing? I'll give you one guess. Go ahead.

NICHOLAS CAGE, whom we already discussed quite a bit in the 47
Those National Treasure movies, all masonic and whatnot, underneath this company, which was founded, as-well, the year I was born, 2000.

As-well, it seems that this video was uploaded on 4-7-23.

Artificial Intelligence

I had woken up at my brothers bungalo, ready to do some maintenance on these ferocious front beds (which were nearly extending into the street), and found myself with a variety of different numerical repetitions. He was off doing something, and I was scrolling through YouTube while waking up; there wasn't anything too significant, but I did find a movie clip with 888 likes, something else with 222k views, and maybe one other thing. More importantly, who honestly cares, I just discovered this 47 second video of Chris Angel walking on water.

Next thing you know I saw the movie "End of Days" appear. I'm not about to sit here and watch a movie or anything, but what sort of apocalyptic apologist would pass the opportunity up to at-least check out what this was about. Is that Arnold on the cover? Never seen this one... I sat there quite astonished for a moment as it was sitting at a perfect 444 comments. This felt like a moment that was quite profound given the ongoing thematics of these brotherly get togethers being like different puzzle pieces forming a larger picture. It saddens me to say that my camera source was unfortunately dead for this beautiful moment. There was no possible way for me to charge my iPhone here, and it already faced a certain battery bye bye the night before. Later that evening I received word his Grandmother may have an iOS compatible charger inside of her bedroom. By the time I was able to go back hours later, it was too late. Fourteen different people banded together to sabotage these efforts. This happened on September 7th, the full movie was free on YouTube, but it seems that now they have removed it :( We watched it that night but I fell asleep in the first 15 minutes...

Word around town was, the other week, that the rapture was supposed to begin around September 23-24. Jesus was apparently going to come on down from the heavens and start this thing, and people on TikTok took it quite seriously. I was able to find video of a woman bawling because she felt like things were really about to be over and there were people that were not going to be saved, all because they just couldn't accept that it was happening. It was so absolutely saddening for her, as it was for the many other people in videos that I was able to find as this sort of mass psychosis began to spread itself through the algorithm. There were people that sold everything they had, quit their jobs, and many probably revealing embarrassing secrets they were holding until the final moments, facts that will probably change the way they are seen by those close to them forever. Look, Jesus coming back... c'mon guys. Give it a break. If he was going to come back, he would have probably already done it by now - do you see the state of this world? It's shattered. He has left us stranded. Maybe he's just running fashionable late. Let's give the dude some leiway. I'm sure the whole roundabout must be a descent from whatever luxurious celestial abode he must have gained access to from his missions. The dude probably has an astral mansion, and etheric access to the hottest spots in heaven. I wonder if its better he stay up there, and could maybe work out some sort of remote work thing with the almighty? Could that be it? Maybe he is coming back through all of us, by somehow collaborating from a distance, and it's ultimately a team effort. Christ consciousness maaannnn. The prophetic problem child that began this all, Joshua Mhlakela, claimed to have seen Jesus in a 2018 vision, who relayed this to all to him privately - exact date and all. He then appeared Jun 16, 2025 to announce it, a little short of notice you would think, in front of these ladies...

I get it, I get it, I know... we're living in times which definitely seem as though the rapture were to be on a precipice. For example, the whole ordeal with

Did they do the whole thing yet? I wonder if there's been more than one cow to meet the bill or not. No rapture ended up occurring, but what I did discover was that a study came out on September 15th with unsettling reports about another asteroid. It may not be the one which began this whole exposition here, but by golly, if we shot for the moon and landed on the stars, I don't think that's a bad bargain. Unfortunately though, in the terms and conditions of this arrangement, it seems we will still have to shoot for the moon, but, with a nuke. Maybe I'm doing that whole prophet thing where they change their mind, being all wishy washy, but, in my defense, this has also been prophesized. Here I am, shortly after uploading the website to say "DAY OF ATONEMENT ((sUPER N&K3) REMIX", in reference to my growing awareness of DJ Smokey 666's presence here, perhaps, a man well renowned for his involvement with nuclear technology, some synchronicities to get into there soon, and then on September 23rd, that's when they were dropping articles on this nuclear situation. There is a 4% chance that this thing is supposed to collide, if it were, I'm sure there would be a tremendous amount of lunacy we see as a result.
https://arxiv.org/pdf/2509.12351

I discovered this song that same night Sept 23, an artist I used to like years ago.
I don't like that the screenshot found itself at 2:22, it seems all timed lol .. but looking back at what was uploaded after this one in order of their songs...

I'm no astrologist, but I believe they accidentally, just barely, overcalculated a bit on that orbital period, just a sliver. I'm going to pretend, as-well, that absolute magnitude should have a rule where you round down no matter how close it is to the next number.

509 is the area code i have grown up in

Here I am the day before the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, trying to finish things up. This one I've been trying to digest - finally ready to add it in here, smacked in the face with more numbers, confirming the time was right. The bladee synchronicity which happened in the very beginning of this journey was so profound for me, personally, that you could say it propelled much of my belief early on. To quote some of the lyrics from 0:44-0:47, "Ak-47 we performing under stress." When this first came out, it forced me to go and take a seat for a second. What did he just say? To really understand just how thoroughly mind bending this was for me, I have to take you back a little bit.

It was the month of May in 2018. My mother and step-father went on a little trip, and the house was empty. One of my closest childhood friends since Elementary school and I planned on doing some acid. We contacted our other friend, who always seemed to be well connected with these older hippie dudes, and got ahold of a few tabs. 2 for each of us. Went back to my place and consumed the blotters of diethylamide, acid lysergic. We were planning on making a mixtape of some sort while high. Throughout the winter, the two of us learned our way around FL Studio after consuming nectar collector clouds like hummingbirds in the springtime. The songs we made were comedically terrible the next day, but when we were in the moment, it was Mozart. As our emotions were beginning to elevate upon absorption of this particularly potent hallucinogenic substance, I brought to life the pixels of the television with the remote, it was left on the couch, and the cable box, a channel my mother frequented quite often, E! Entertainment. The show playing was about people that were addicted to changing their avatar through plastic surgery, Botched. Looking at these profoundly interesting human beings, who's personalities were just as captivating as their appearances, we couldn't stop laughing - to the point of aggravating abdominal muscles. Eventually, it turned from humorous, to off-putting. A more intimate understanding of their psychological addiction for aesthetic mutilation kicked in, some were going so far as to risk death for another inch to already exaggerated features. This extreme desire for large breasts is something that, as young men, we could understand and share in comradery with, to some extent, but ultimately, we found this fascination disturbing when present in a woman who was not happy with the image she saw in the mirror. These small squares were incredibly powerful, I had done acid a bunch of times already, doses higher than 2 tabs, but this had to have been some sort of extra-strength Grateful Dead reserves from the 70's. The peak of these was perhaps my peak LSD experience, the one which I subconsciously chased recreating over and over again in future years, including a 25 tab expenditure which left me hospitalized (long story). A seal this night was popped which can probably only occur once, that one experience that truly changes everything forever, perhaps the kundalini awakening thing, maybe just the first stage. Eventually, my friend puts on a band that I had never heard of... some indie music. STRFKR. This genre was quite different than the audio I found myself accustomed to frequenting. Finding it enjoyable, this propels the start of the beginning of smoking a marijuana while my torso sat lying back on the extended recliner couch, having at-least a few days to air this place out, a rare opportunity was being seized. This begins to amplify things profoundly. Just trying to hold myself together, eyes find themselves heavy to the point of closure as I'm listening to the music and breathing. At a certain point I just hear
"sssshhhhfadfj"
"kjahfSshne..."
"Shhhane...",
"huuuuhhhhhh?"
"Do you see that?"
"See what?"

I could barely open my eyes, but slowly the curtains lift to my friend holding himself up from the couch with one arm, and pointing at the TV with the other. We were both at that point where you couldn't conversate or use spinal muscles to park vertically anymore, he must have summoned all the strength he had left to deliver me this message. And so, I turn my head about 47 degrees to the right, following his direction....

This was the cover art of the album which was playing in the dark corner of the room. When I saw this, it wasn't just some picture. We were so high up, that it was as though there was an interdimensional portal which had been opened, a stargate perhaps, I don't know what that really means, but these faces on the screen were like heads from another world peering in on us. Seemingly, it felt that all of sudden there was this other presence here with us, psychically connected to, and actively melting our minds. Reality, as I knew it, was actively being fractured. Throughout the album different quotes from Alan Watts will drop in the background from time to time. The lyrics, paired with these philosophical bombshells, would plunge me into becoming the words, the statements; the album, with its positive undertone, almost became a guided meditation of sorts, as I kept following in letting go into unlimited bliss. Like a scene out of some 90s movie where the kid brings home some outlandish creature, and the mother walks in on them, and then faints from overwhelm, after looking at what quite literally seemed like 4 alien heads in the living room, my eyes collapsed once again, and I believe I was taken out of my body. It was like I flew up and into some other place for a little while. I don't really remember much, but it was this zone where I saw everything all extended out, my entire life all played out or something, looking into the future. The feeling it inspired in me was that all the things I was going through and perhaps struggling with were all natural and part of the process of growing up, school kinda sucks, that's maybe true, you're not wrong there, but wow, we're almost done. It was almost as though anytime I would start to drift down into some natural negative thinking, this would come to the forefront of my awareness, looking completely silly, almost childish - blatantly making clear that I was out here choosing to throw myself into mental turmoil. I specifically remember this one part of this visionary experience where I saw myself with a ton of acne on my face. I probably had a little bit around that time, but it wasn't anything really profound. It felt very real, as though I was quite literally sitting there and my face was blown up, but it was all good, as though the trip was saying, look, lets make things extreme, you could have your entire face completely erupt, and even then, it's all wonderful, you wouldn't even have to get swayed a single bit if you so chose, everything, anytime, is always okay. Under no circumstances do you have to separate from this feeling of internal bliss we're tapping into right now if you so choose to navigate things that way. When I told this story to Dear John, he sorta connected this to my story about 1v1ing the devil, a collision, a near death, and my face blowing up afterward, how it was almost like it predicted the future.

no face no case

We never got around to the mixtape - but discovered something new that night, a e s t h e t i c vaporwave. The next morning I awoke early and smoked weed in the garage alone, keeping the lights off so I faced complete darkness. For the first few songs it was like I was tripping in that living room again, having flashbacks. That feeling from before, those other beings peering in on us, it was like a second little hello, a hey, but only in emotions. It was as though I had developed some sort of a connection to another force, and of course, you would probably think back to the occasion with remorse, like wow, I really lost control of the horse, what's next, blinking lights and morse, you're acting like you met the gods of Norse, and even though my throat, from smoking marijuana, was hoarse, the beauty through me, which coursed, even with the pores, it brought me back to childhood memories of smores, plastic army-men on floors, running through the house with imaginative secret spy lore's, it truly affected me to the core. Now I don't want to be a bore, continuing to tell you more, but because of the four, and the seven, the potential we may all be going to heaven, my bretheren, let a gremlin, who should have been named Devin, for just a moment, let go, and feel like a reverend. The first song I ran to play was Decay by Bladee. It had just released. When he said "I gave myself unto the red light," that's what felt like a callback to the little out of body thing that just happened. I had learned to surrender.

The next song that I remember playing brought things to a bit of an ominous tone. It was a song by the artist Ghostemane called, "Kali Yuga". It seems that this wav file has since been removed from their soundcloud by a hacker, who dubiously replaced it with something else. When searching "Kali Yuga", the second result was a reupload of Clams Casino's instrumental production of the track, sitting at a bountiful 332.

A few years later we took acid again when Strfkr came to our city. After the show rode lime scooters throughout the downtown region at high velocity speeds, it was very fun. Next thing you know, this guy approaches us talking about how he just got out of the penitentiary and needed help getting to the other side of town. Like some sort of strange GTA side-mission had activated, the man proceeds to pull a small nug of weed out of his pocket, and offers it up in exchange for our assistance. My friend is immediately kinda sketched out, trying to be nice but get us out of it. For some reason, I think it was the nug of weed, I feel like my friend isn't really embracing the full acid experience by going with the flow of things here. I was in such a high state that there was no fear, and even though this guy could probably rob the both of us with ease, it was a sort of 'lets push the boundaries moment,' and roll with the nights transition into assisting freshly released convicts with their transportation needs. Trying not to make it too clear we are vulnerably high, offering him up my chariot, I proposed to double up on my friends scooter, we could follow him where he needs to go, and then I'll get mine back at the destination. He hands me a little green nugget and the deal was solidified. This is exciting, I thought, as my friend was somewhat hesitant with me dragging him into the arrangement. Guy hops on the scooter and starts flying. We begin to follow behind in pursuit. Downtown, at night, on the weekend, there's a bit of traffic around here. All of a sudden he starts making the riskiest cross-walk fly throughs, going across streets with red lights at 0 hesitation. To keep up, we are essentially blindly, through faith alone, going through stoplights which may or may not be green, just hoping that a car doesn't time its travel down these roads at the same moment as us. Hitting max speeds, navigating bumpy terrain, it becomes a chase, and I'm holding on to my buddy for dear life. It's the electric Titanic, DiCaprio holding onto Rose, "I'm flying!" He ended up getting away from us with absolutely no remorse, that sneaky bastard... but honestly, we already got the nug of weed, and the adrenaline was nice. I was able to shut it down from my phone a little later, giving him some time to get where he needed. My friends phone unfortunately died during this whole engagement, and so, he was faced with a brief bout of Lime disease, running up the meter unavoidably, the 2 wheeled vehicle we should have given to our 2 face friend. </3

1836 - 4-7
William Godwin, an English philosopher considered one of the first modern proponents of anarchism, dies
On 3-27, 1836, the Mexican army executed 417 Texas revolutionaries at Goliad. What was the date on that photo above?

Featuring a drawing I made around the time this book was acquired in 2022

I started saying this word all the time, even so far as to try and attempt to repeat it for entire days. At work I'm just playing this over and over again internally. Singing it in the car in weird different ways there and back. I had no idea that in antiquity this was something that only the High Priest would be able to say, and only in the Holy of Holies, on the day of Atonement. In my defense, I was still theoretically meeting the credential of High Priest, consuming the marijuana plant every day after work, and given a potential Priestly past as Sabbatai Zevi, this heretical behavior seems to make a lot of sense. He was known for sneaking the secret name of God outside of this context...

The other place I found this phrase explained in the book ..

conducted by 'the shadow government' 🤔

During the day of Atonement I was fasted, wearing a long sleeve red shirt to be in the spirit of things, but with white pants. At first I was wearing an all white outfit, but we hadn't atoned for much by that point so I thought to myself, lets get some red on. The shirt wasn't enough, we need to put on some red sweatpants too. At the time, I was currently listening to this ... it came on in the autoplay and the 999 thing seemed on theme, with 66.6k subscribers, so I felt - hey these are the frequencies I may be in need of at the moment.

When I came back downstairs after going and changing into a full red outfit, the video had finished, and Autoplayed onto the next thing... which was this video.

It seems we had a new upload from 2 Shanez on the Day of Atonement as-well. I just want to make it clear that I have nothing but respect, all my talks about being the real Two Chainz/Shanez is all in fun. It being Aleister themed, he seems to be with it, but I just wanted to say that. I would hope that if he heard about this strange story, he would find it funny/interesting. If we ever met, 4 Shanez would probably instantly crash the server.

Lots more

"I'm dedicated.... to uh.... take all those other boys on YouTube out"

"Here's a cliche that narcissists use, all narcissists use that I personally find the most irritating. I'm the type of person who always, oh, you know me, I'm extremely dedicated to and then there's some value or virtuous thing and they talk in this kind of cliched way, which would be embarrassing and cringe-inducing for normal adults because they're children. Essentially, that's a child locked inside of an adult's body due to um intense trauma and or spoiling when they were very very young. And that's what creates the narcissistic world view and this connection to the false self that they've created. So all of this is a kind of self supply to that false self to aggrandize themselves and be like, "Yeah, this is who I truly am. And if I can make you listen to it, and I can make you listen to it, and I can write this blog post about it, that's going to make it true."

"I will be better off pretending that I'm in a,
I'm a king in a castle,
than dealing with the reality.
That's a child's logic."

15:32-17:19

"Scapegoating is a premedieval practice. I think scapegoating is an old it's an old Jewish practice. I think it goes back three or 4 thousand years. You put the sins of the tribe into a goat and then you send the goat out into the wilderness to die a painful death from exposure. That's that's what a literal scapegoat is. I think there's a um a William Blake uh painting of that if you fancy looking it up. Under those circumstances, people will become more narcissistic and they will treat themselves as mini gods. And you might say, "Oh, that's you're being euphemistic. That's you don't really mean that. That's poetic language." And yes, of course, you can take it euphemistically. You can take it uh mythically, but try and take it literally as well. In what ways do people treat themselves as gods? Do they make images of themselves, graven images of themselves, worship those images and ask others to worship those images also, literally and figuratively? The answer to that question is yes. Do they demand submission to cultlike, religious-like ideologies and narratives that if you don't submit to, you are punished and or outcast? Yes, these are religious uh ideologically religious mini cults and people are becoming mini gods. The hollow gods of a dying age and this is a dying age."

Osamason's new album cover, and its concept art, may seem off-putting at first. Many seem to have an intrinsic reaction that makes them somewhat hesitant to embrace what looks like evil. Perhaps that is the intention behind it, pure blasphemy, but also, there may be a deeper approach the artist is taking with their creative direction. Firstly, the cover is a reconceptualization of another album, "Three Black Nights of Little Black Bites," a release from Marc and The Mambas on 11-12-12. The band started as an offshoot of Soft Cell member Marc Almond, acting as a stylistically different atmosphere which allowed for him to explore themes that didn't align with the established pop success he arose from. The group Osamason is apart of, SlimeKrew, associates themselves with snake imagery, and Marc Almond was known for having a pet snake, even taking it with him to interviews. This is the Mambas only complete, official full-length live album, capturing a three-night performance at the Duke of York's Theatre in April of 1983. It was recorded by Peter Christopherson, famously nicknamed "Sleazy," a figure in the UK's industrial and experimental music scene, who was a founding member of the bands Throbbing Gristle and Coil(and last album was released in 2013 with only 999 CD's). He must have been a good friend of the group, as they paid ohmage to him with their first single, which I had the pleasure of being the 447th like of.

The other piece of art which was released with Osamason's album, Psykotic, features what seems to be a demonic looking satyr-child sitting with a snake wrapped around them, the bloody head of a goat in their lap, and their arms/hands stylized in the manner of Baphomet(along with all the track names around the border). For those that were offput by the album cover, this sure would not make them more comfortable.

Baphomet stands as one of the most misunderstood, debated, and controversial images in our modern culture. Oftentimes when we see this figure depicted, the association goes directly to an evil, demonic, rebellious, and anti-Christian perspective. To be fair, the Satanic church was founded in 1966 utilizing Baphomet with an upside-down pentagram as their logo, but this is not its original origin. The first written occurrence of Baphomet was in 1098 by Duke Anselm of Ribemont, a figure from the first crusades. Anselm, in recollecting the events of the Siege of Antioch, stated that while storming the gates, “the Turks ‘called loudly upon Baphomet.’” Most scholars believed that the name was an alteration of “Mahomet,” or Muhammad, proposing that perhaps the Templars had absorbed some heretical associations with Islamic belief systems during their crusades. Under orders from King Philip IV of France, in 1307, the entire Order of the Knights Templar was arrested. They were accused of a range of heretical practices, including blasphemy, participating in secret rituals, and the worship of idols. The name Baphomet emerged during these trials, ones which were infused with severe torture, and it quickly became a focal point for inquisitorial accusations which sought to cast the Templars as a moralistically deviant, heretical organization. Descriptions of this 'idol' were so varied, one even referring to Baphomet as a cat, that it has led scholars to believe that perhaps this idea was imposed upon the Templars, reinforced and given merit through the words of men attempting to survive brutal beatings. In reality, such worship likely never took place; the order was persecuted for political reasons, leading the figure of Baphomet to represent the broader anxieties of hidden knowledge, subversive power, and the imagined corruption of sacred values in the medieval period. There is however, another interpretation for the origin of the name Baphomet which may give a potential explanation for the Templar accusations. Hugh Schonfield theorized that the word "Baphomet" was a code, likely created using the Hebrew Atbash cipher(which reverses the alphabet). In his book The Essene Odyssey, he argued that when Baphomet is run through Atbash, it decodes to שופיא‎ (šwpy‘, "Shofya'") the Greek word for Sophia, meaning "wisdom." Interestingly this found its way into the plot for the book "The Da Davinci Code." One of the characters has a realization about a line in the poem that was guiding their descent into mystery, “headstone praised by Templars.” The Knights Templar were accused of devil worship during the time of Pope Clement, and the god they purportedly worshipped would sometimes appear as a large stone head, the head of 'Baphomet'. They agree that this must be the password for the cryptex, and then in Chapter 77 of the book, they use the Atbash Cipher to decode the word Baphomet. What do they unearth? The password which acts as a key to unlock the cryptex, Sofia, a variation of one of the main characters names, Sophie. This new progress gives the team access to another poem, leading them on to, what I could only assume to be another poem, or perhaps a jigsaw puzzle if they are lucky.

The original Hebrew word for Baphomet before the cipher, בפומת‎ (bpwmt) in Gematria is

German author Christoph Friedrich Nicolai wrote in 1782 about how Baphomet was mentioned during a “deposition of two Templar witnesses interrogated by the ecclesiastical authorities in Carcassone,” where the witnesses mentioned that Baphomet “‘was not the name of the idol, but rather a hieroglyph imprinted on it. The head… had been a symbol, the image of the eternal Father in a state of rest, as the ancient Gnostics represented him’” It goes on to mention that the Templars were “supposedly introduced to Gnosticism in the Orient, since ‘the Orient, above all Syria, was the refuge for all of the sectarians and heretics banished by the Western Christian Empire.’” Joseph von Hammer-Purgstall, in his book Ancient Alphabets and Hieroglyphic Characters Explained (1806), states that “‘Bahumed or Bahumet was one of their secret and mysterious formulas, with which they addressed the idol of a calf in their secret assemblies.’” The calf part comes from the fact that “Bahúmid” translates into “calf” in the Arabic language. There are a lot of debates surrounding the Templars and Baphomet, with scholars claiming that the knowledge of hieroglyphic writing wouldn't have been possible for them to hold. The similarity to the Arabic word for calf could have still just been the misinterpretation of a proclamation towards Mohammed.

Regardless of the Templars, the image of Baphomet came to life in this piece of art originally created in 1854 by occultist Eliphas Levi for his book "Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magie" ("Dogmas and Rituals of High Magic"). He viewed Baphomet as a symbol of astral light and alchemical unity, a union of opposites, a synthesis of spirit and matter. This is how the image was originally viewed in occult circles. A symbol of spiritualaity and enlightenment, rather than heresy. His depiction reflects a number of principles considered fundamental to occultists and was influenced by Hermeticism, Kabbalah, and alchemy, among other sources.

Levi himself described the meaning of the symbol thusly in "Dogme et Rituel":

"The goat on the frontispiece carries the sign of the pentagram on the forehead, with one point at the top, a symbol of light, his two hands forming the sign of hermetism, the one pointing up to the white moon of Chesed, the other pointing down to the black one of Geburah. This sign expresses the perfect harmony of mercy with justice. His one arm is female, the other male like the ones of the androgyn of Khunrath, the attributes of which we had to unite with those of our goat because he is one and the same symbol. The flame of intelligence shining between his horns is the magic light of the universal balance, the image of the soul elevated above matter, as the flame, whilst being tied to matter, shines above it. The beast's head expresses the horror of the sinner, whose materially acting, solely responsible part has to bear the punishment exclusively; because the soul is insensitive according to its nature and can only suffer when it materializes. The rod standing instead of genitals symbolizes eternal life, the body covered with scales the water, the semi-circle above it the atmosphere, the feathers following above the volatile. Humanity is represented by the two breasts and the androgyn arms of this sphinx of the occult sciences."

Aleister Crowley regarded Baphomet as an archetype of the "True Self," incorporating it into his

From Aleister's Confessions, chapter 85, I find it funny relating to this struggle in looking for the origin of things
"Now, as it happened, I had a test question to my hand. I had taken the name Baphomet as my motto in the O.T.O. For six years and more I had tried to discover the proper way to spell this name."

"Baphomet was Father Mithras, the cubical stone which was the corner of the Temple."

from Crowley's Magick in Theory and Practice

The Devil is, historically, the God of any people that one personally dislikes. This has led to so much confusion of thought that THE BEAST 666 has preferred to let names stand as they are, and to proclaim simply that AIWAZ, the solar-phallic-hermetic 'Lucifer,' is His own Holy Guardian Angel, and 'The Devil' SATAN or HADIT, the Supreme Soul behind RA-HOOR-KHUIT the Sun, the Lord of our particular unit of the Starry Universe. This serpent, SATAN, is not the enemy of Man, but He who made Gods of our race, knowing Good and Evil; He bade 'Know Thyself!' and taught Initiation. He is 'the Devil' of the Book of Thoth, and His emblem is BAPHOMET, the Androgyne who is the hieroglyph of arcane perfection.

An alternative cover I found for the original Marc and The Mambas release.

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1ZEg2_l2Z2xpMSsHiSICtvXNnmX_l0Yc2IM8vC35hxZk/edit?slide=id.g1f9d2f016f2_0_1084#slide=id.g1f9d2f016f2_0_1084

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Dt-XwWicPLn4SsVNpHdiWt9kBe0dQx7EMT9FbrX1rak/htmlview

Was able to recover an old phone for first time in over a year+, it just randomly, actually turned on after charging it, giving me access to an ancient relic.... a 47 second video....